In 2002, my family’s life changed dramatically. My husband, Ross and I were the typical family, raising 3 children working at full-time jobs, and although not living payday to payday, there was not a lot left over for extras. We talked about retirement, and the traveling we would do when we reached the magic age of 65, and the type of house we would live in, and the things we would do. However, in a short few months, our lives changed dramatically.
My eldest brother, Kevin phoned me in July 2002, and dropped a bombshell. He told me he had cancer and the prognosis was not good. However, he remained optimistic that if he remained positive, and tried everything possible medically as well as holistically, he would survive. However, this was not to be, and on December 2 2002, 7 days before his 50th birthday, Kevin lost his fight.
Kevin taught me so much about living my life every day, and this story is not about his death, but the life he led. In those short few months since his diagnosis, I learned that every day is a special day, and decided I was going to do something TODAY and everyday to make my life better.
Ross and I sat down and decided then and there, the life we wanted, not in 5, 10 or 20 years, but the life we wanted TODAY. I changed my habits and decided that instead of reacting to what was going on around me; I was going to be at cause for my life. I looked at every aspect of my life from the simple daily things I did to my habits and my reactions.
At that stage of our lives, we were very typical in that it was easier to blame the Government or the Council, or our bosses or each other for what was happening in our lives. Kevin’s death bought about a change in me that was profound, and although I wish that Kevin hadn’t died for us to make these realizations, it really was the catalyst for the life I have today.
I now choose to believe that I am the cause for things that happen in my life. However, around the time of Kevin’s death, there were a number of other things going on in my life, and I had every reason and excuse but no real results. I was truly living my life on the effect side. I always had an excuse for what was happening to me – it was never MY fault, and my life reflected these thoughts. Once I made the decision to be the cause in my life, I took away the reasons and excuses, and gained real results.
In the years following Kevin’s death, Ross and I worked towards giving up our jobs, which we both did by June 2007. We now have our own Companies training in areas we both love, and working is no longer seen as something we have to do, but rather something we love to do. We have traveled to our dream destinations of the Caribbean, Hawaii, Europe and the UK with 3 separate trips in the past few years. More importantly, we now take ownership of our lives. THIS is what recognition of what we were doing on a daily basis and what we were going to do to change our lives was all about.
My main life lesson was, and continues to be “As you head through life, you will find that things can go differently than you expect or want, but this is the time to say “What can I learn, and how can I make my life better because of this?”
What a fantastic bio! Love the new site, too – it’s great. It just keeps getting better!
Thank you Robyn. Loving the new site as well 🙂
Thank you so much Brenda for sending this to me. You are making a difference in people’s lives and that is a wonderful gift to share.
Thank you Kerry. I appreciate your thoughts 🙂
Awesome, You are very special and we need more people like you, in this world.. A fighter who believes to stand each and everyday. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Thank you for your lovely thoughts and wishes Katina. They mean so much to me and my family
Hi Brenda,
Thankyou for setting up Mind Recipes, it is great food for thought as is your testimony. I have had too many things happen to me in my life to write about, the latest being major surgery for bowel cancer in April this year. I decided that I would no longer save anything for special occassions that LIFE is special and everything else should be used/enjoyed to celebrate it. I love that you changed how you acted out your life and now write the play of your life. Honouring yourself and encourageing others to do the same, such a worthy path you have choosen. Thankyou and much love and blessings to you and yours. Cheryl
Cheryl – thank you so very much for you encouraging words. Congratulations and celebrations to you too for the hurdles you have overcome on your life journey.
I truly believe it is not what happens to us in our life, but how we react to those occurrences that are important and which determine our outcomes. These are not hollow words – they are my life. If in a small way I can encourage others to do the same – how wonderful is that!
Sending you all the best and kindest wishes
Heartwarming and a wonderfully personal account of changes you made in your life. Thank you for sharing
My pleasure Robert.
Hi! I am proud to read your article …
Thank you Rina. Your thoughts mean a lot to me.
This is very inspirational. I’d love to be at that point in my life too. 🙂
Thanks for sharing this motivational post Brenda. I found your blog from the Self Development forum and I’m glad I did 🙂
Thank you Felix and Winn. I am happy to share my journey with you and glad you enjoy my site
Hi Brenda,
Great to discover your site! Mind Recipes is a food for thought that lifts you up and open your awareness of appreciation in what Life can give. I really admire your positivity in Life. Now that I read some of the articles in your page…i’m sure that this will be a part of my mornings. A good way to start each day….
Tammy
Thank you Tammy and welcome to our site. You can also find us on Facebook for daily morning and evening inspiration.
I appreciate your kind comments and look forward to hearing from you again 🙂
What an absolutely beautiful site (I just dicovered it) and contribution to society in general. Thank you for making such a positive impact by your daily writings and pictures. Kindest regards Chris (from Sydney, Australia)
Thank you so much Chris for your comments. This means a great deal to me.
Welcome to Mind recipes and I will look forward to hearing more from you in the future
Kind regards Brenda
Thank you for sharing your story – beautiful
My pleasure Lorraine
Congratulations on the website launch Brenda, your story is inspiring, thank you for sharing and keep up the great work.
Vicki
Thank you Vicki. This site has been operating for quite a while now but I only recently discovered that many people on face book didn’t realize I also had a website.
I appreciate you visiting and commenting here – thanks again 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story – inspirational effort. Keep on living your dream.
Thank you for sharing your story – so inspirational
Thank you. I could relate to your story so much. Similar thing happened to me but I spent years being angry and bitter. If only I had read this all those years ago.
Wow – what a story – turning sadness into creating a new ending for yourselves……..love it
Thank you for sharing your story – can’t wait to read more
I appreciate you sharing this personal story.
Wow so great an article…an eye-opener to all readers like me… well, my own life story is about to get revealed in a book i have been writing since___ well, too busy and afraid to finish it… who knows with wisdom encountered everyday like reading great stories like yours…mine will also create a spark to others… thanks for this great sharing, bren.
Thank you for visiting Mind Recipes Larry.
Do not be afraid to finish your book…we all have a story to share and your story may be one that can help others on their journey.
I will look forward to reading it in the near future. Just remember, we all have the same amount of time in the day – it’s what we choose to do with those hours that determine our outcomes. Even spending an hour a day so that you can complete your book will be worthwhile 🙂
Hi Brenda,
Love your website. It is truly inspirational and a recipe for success! Thank you for your wisdom.
Thank you so much Patricia and welcome to Mind Recipes
Thank you Brenda – inspiring reading this
Hi Brenda,
As horrible and as painful as this experience was … you looked for the lesson. I believe with all my heart that whatever comes our way there is something to learn from it. This learning helps you to become a better you if you’re willing to see … thank you Brenda
Yes Lesly, this is exactly how I viewed the events. There will always remain a wonderful memory and it indeed catapulted our family to change the course of our lives. Thank you for visiting Mind Recipes and I look forward to viewing more of your comments <3
You will help so many
Nice work