About Brenda Freeman
In 2002, my family’s life changed dramatically. My husband, Ross and I were the typical family, raising 3 children working at full-time jobs, and although not living payday to payday, there was not a lot left over for extras. We talked about retirement, and the traveling we would do when we reached the magic age of 65, and the type of house we would live in, and the things we would do. However, in a short few months, our lives changed dramatically.
My eldest brother, Kevin phoned me in July 2002, and dropped a bombshell. He told me he had cancer and the prognosis was not good. However, he remained optimistic that if he remained positive, and tried everything possible medically as well as holistically, he would survive. However, this was not to be, and on December 2 2002, 7 days before his 50th birthday, Kevin lost his fight.
Kevin taught me so much about living my life every day, and this story is not about his death, but the life he led. In those short few months since his diagnosis, I learned that every day is a special day, and decided I was going to do something TODAY and everyday to make my life better.
Ross and I sat down and decided then and there, the life we wanted, not in 5, 10 or 20 years, but the life we wanted TODAY. I changed my habits and decided that instead of reacting to what was going on around me; I was going to be at cause for my life. I looked at every aspect of my life from the simple daily things I did to my habits and my reactions.
At that stage of our lives, we were very typical in that it was easier to blame the Government or the Council, or our bosses or each other for what was happening in our lives. Kevin’s death bought about a change in me that was profound, and although I wish that Kevin hadn’t died for us to make these realizations, it really was the catalyst for the life I have today.
I now choose to believe that I am the cause for things that happen in my life. However, around the time of Kevin’s death, there were a number of other things going on in my life, and I had every reason and excuse but no real results. I was truly living my life on the effect side. I always had an excuse for what was happening to me – it was never MY fault, and my life reflected these thoughts. Once I made the decision to be the cause in my life, I took away the reasons and excuses, and gained real results.
In the years following Kevin’s death, Ross and I worked towards giving up our jobs, which we both did by June 2007. We now have our own Companies training in areas we both love, and working is no longer seen as something we have to do, but rather something we love to do. We have traveled to our dream destinations of the Caribbean, Hawaii, Europe and the UK with 3 separate trips in the past few years. More importantly, we now take ownership of our lives. THIS is what recognition of what we were doing on a daily basis and what we were going to do to change our lives was all about.
My main life lesson was, and continues to be “As you head through life, you will find that things can go differently than you expect or want, but this is the time to say “What can I learn, and how can I make my life better because of this?”