Suppose you were asked “Do you want to learn how to make more money than you are currently earning? What would your first reaction be? What did “that voice” in your head first say?
Was it there must be a trick or you must be a crook to make money or it couldn’t be THAT easy?
That voice in your head can help you or hinder you in EVERY aspect of your life. How many times have you intellectually known you could do something, and you didn’t go ahead without knowing why? Was it just “because”, or did a little voice remind you that you had tried things like that before and they hadn’t worked, or your 2nd cousin’s wife tried to do that and she lost her life savings? Or, I never finished high school and I’m not really that smart?There are so many programs out there showing people how to change their lives, make more money through investing in shares, property development or trading. The knowledge is freely available; the training is regularly presented by amazingly successful people. Then, why is it that the majority of people don’t go on to learn these skills and utilize them in their own lives?
This little voice can sometimes hinder you in one aspect, but help you in another. The idea is to master that voice and become the commander rather than the commanded.
Have you heard the story of the baby elephants?
Elephants in captivity learn their place in the world, their “limitations” as a baby. A heavy metal chain is attached to their back leg, so they can’t wander away. Elephants are very intelligent creatures, and after struggling with the chain for a while, the baby elephant quickly learns that struggling not only causes pain, but they cannot get loose. The baby elephant finds that they can move only as far as the length of chain allows. Eventually, they will grow tired of pulling at the chain and stop trying altogether.
As an adult, the chain used is much lighter, and even though this adult elephant is capable of easily pulling out the stake and chain, it has been conditioned to accept a limitation on its freedom! The mature elephant has learned the lesson well: the chain limits their experience of the world.This limitation is securely installed in the elephant’s brain as a conditioned response, or a “belief”.
Have there been times in your life as an adult that you have allowed yourself to be shackled to a childhood belief? You may have become your limitations. You have learned the lesson well – just like the baby elephant.
If you say “I can’t handle this”, you more likely can’t. This is because your subconscious mind tends to believe the thoughts it hears. You can limit your abilities by telling yourself you “can’t”, that “this is too hard” or that you “shouldn’t even try”.
When you tell yourself you can’t handle something (or some other self-limiting thought), you tend to stop looking for solutions. For example, notice the difference between telling yourself you can’t handle something and asking yourself how you will handle something. Doesn’t the second thought feel better and produce more creativity? Negative self talk tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy!
How would you like to learn how to master that voice, and recognize the beliefs that have been holding you back?
First of all, you need to take notice of your self-talk. Most people are unaware that this talk goes on in their head constantly. Take notice of what you are saying and also how you say it. This is extremely important. How often have the words spoken been negated by the tone in the voice or the body positioning? Is your self talk critical of yourself or others? Do you complain about your life and what others have done to you to “make ” your life miserable?
Also listen to the thoughts you speak, and share with others. Do you talk about being “at the end of your tether?”, or do you always get tongue tied when you are speaking to some-one in authority, or say that people who are living a fulfilled life have all the luck?
How is this voice treating you? If one of your friends or work colleagues continually spoke to you in this manner, what would you do? Most likely you would limit the time you spend with that person. However, your voice is with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 months of the year. Unless you train that voice to be kind to you, the voice will rule you.
Some of words coming from your self talk may have come from early childhood. You may not even consciously remember these incidents, but your unconscious mind does, and replays those tapes in your head over and over. Your father may have said, “You will never amount to anything”, “Work hard at your job, and you will be successful”, “You are just like your mother”. These memories have a powerful impact on your moods and attitudes in life without you being consciously aware of it. In effect you don’t need those people to tell you what to do anymore, they are living inside your own head!!!
Negative self-talk can be debilitating, and until you become aware of it, the tapes play in the background and affect everything in your world.
So, what can you do about these limitations and negative self-talk?
First of all, recognize that all people have some type of self-talk going on in their head. The difference is the type of self-talk they listen to.
To begin with, you must become aware of the self-talk. Many people are not really conscious of what is being said, until they stop and listen. Begin to pay attention to what you think. Notice any repetitive thoughts.
Next comes the understanding that you do not have to react to these thoughts in the same way. You have a choice. You may listen and act on the negative thought as you have in the past or you may choose to do something different.
A simple way of starting to make the change is when you notice negative self-talk, you can alter these thoughts by saying to yourself “Stop”. It is best to say this aloud because this makes you more aware of how many times you are having negative thoughts, and the situations in which they are arising.
Some people wear an elastic band around their wrist and pull on it every time a negative thought enters their mind. This action may hurt a little bit, but will also help you become more aware of your thoughts. You are starting to train your mind to limit these negative thoughts. Replacing the negative self -talk with different words can have a huge impact. Remember, everyone has self-talk, there are just different types, some very negative and some very positive.
Try using less emotive words. The words, “hate, anger, pain, and suffering” have an immediate negative affect on most people. Try replacing these types of words with milder wording like annoyed and discomfort. These milder words cause less emotion in your mind.
When a seemingly annoying event occurs, you know the ones, where you immediately become angry, stop and think (Maybe you need to say stop and pull on the rubber band!). See if you can come up with a neutral or positive replacement thought.
Another method of changing this negative talk is to change your statements into questions. When you find yourself saying things like “I can’t handle this anymore!” or “I’ll never be able to do this” your mind actually stops looking for solutions to the situation. Why not change the statement into “How can I handle this?” or “How can I do this?” This opens up your imagination to new solutions and possibilities.
You may also help yourself develop more positive self-talk by bringing positive energy into your life. Be aware of the people you are spending your time with, and listen to the words they use. Are they providing you with a positive or negative feeling? Do you feel good being around them, or are they bringing you further down by their negativity.
Changing self-talk may bring enormous changes to your results. The methods may seem simple, but most things in life are, as long as you do “those simple things”. Try it and see if it makes a difference to you.