Am I An Energy Vampire?

My last post about Energy Vampires created quite a stir, and the main question being asked was “How can I tell if I am the Energy Vampire? Most Energy Vampires are actually unaware that they drain the energy from others, so whilst reading this post, be honest with yourself, for your sake as well as those people around you.

Recognizing the Energy Vampire Within

There are a number of characteristics common with Energy Vampires. As you are reading this list, see if you recognize any of these characteristics within yourself?

  1. An Energy Vampire is extremely opinionated and doesn’t have a problem telling people what they think. They seldom have anything good to say to you or about anything in their lives. Their favorite topic of conversation is themselves, and they very rarely ask questions to the person they are speaking at.
  2. There are always dramas in an Energy Vampire’s life. When they are speaking to their friends or colleagues, they are always sharing every grievance in their lives, no matter how trivial.
  3. Energy Vampires complain endlessly about problems in their lives, but rarely, if ever, take steps to improve their situations. The same issues are discussed week in, week out. Do you find that nearly all of your interactions with people are complaints about your job, your boss, your partners, your neighbors, the numerous illnesses or ailments you have or anything else that you constantly complain about? If so, take a breathe and congratulate yourself – recognition that you may be an Energy Vampire is the first step to change.
  4. Pity Parties are the weekly entertainment – you want people’s sympathy, but will not take their advise on how to fix the problem. Solutions are really not what you are looking for – you want people to feel sorry for you. If you hear a story about someone else’s misfortune – do you have a bigger and better story about how you were worse off? Do you even let them finish their story before you jump in with “You think that’s bad, wait till you hear what happened to me!”
  5. Guilt and a sense of entitlement that you are owed something is very common amongst family members. Have you heard yourself say “After all I’ve done for you, you at least owe me this”?
  6. Energy Vampires constantly look at the negatives in any situation. Other people can see the potential, but Energy Vampires only see the problems.
  7. Responsibility for the Energy Vampires life is always blamed on something or someone else – their parents, their partner, their siblings, their children, their government, their school, their teachers – anyone but themselves.
  8. Constant reassurance of their abilities and personality is required from as many people as possible. Energy Vampires need reassurance that they are right about their thoughts of life, and will keep  talking until they get the replies they want. They are usually dependent on approval from others.
  9. Energy Vampires are usually unaware of the effect they have on others. They miss the signs that people are either uncomfortable, bored or trying to shift the conversations away from the Energy Vampires topics. However, the Energy Vampires constantly return to their preferred subject – themselves.

Having read through this post, there will be people having a sense of recognition, and there will be those who fail to realize this article may be describing what other people see in them on a constant basis.

It can be a difficult thing to take responsibility for the way we live our lives, but once you take this responsibility and actually make the changes required, your life and those around you will be enhanced. Once you recognize that you have become, or are becoming an Energy Vampire, there are ways to change. This will be the follow up post next week.

Please share your stories and thoughts on this topic. It is a common situation, and by sharing, others will benefit from your experiences.

If you would like to know how to deal with Energy Vampires, please go to Energy Vampires

About Brenda

Read more about Brenda on the About Brenda Freeman page.
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67 Responses to Am I An Energy Vampire?

  1. Hey Girl…you have done it again! Spectacular information for people to know. It’s is funny because I’m casting away all the vampires in my life, but family members are the most difficult. We have to remember besides our interactions with other people we work with, it is our families that have the most energy when it comes to this subject.
    Our high emotions, roles, and other aspects in the family I find are more difficult to cut cords with. This is important because it can drain you from a productive day.
    Keep up your “vampire chronicles” I love ’em!

    • Brenda says:

      Thank you Donna. Couldn’t agree more. All my writings relate to my life or people that I have met, so I fully understand and agree with your comments.

      “The Vampire Chronicles” will continue. It has created quite a reaction from people who have the energy sappers in their life, or are starting to recognize that they may be draining the energy from others.

      That’s my aim through this site – to bring information to people so they can change their “Mind Recipes” they have developed into habits and which aren’t serving themselves positively.

  2. Val Wilcox says:

    Great post with plenty of insights into Energy Vampires! I love your examples. Can we post this in all the major papers, magazines & news channels? Seriously, you have opened a great vehicle for self reflection here. Keep the articles coming. I enjoy your writing style!
    Val 🙂

    • Thank you so much Val for your comments. My aim in all my writing is to create either conversation or self reflection and I am very happy you believe I have done this with these articles. I would be thrilled to get these messages out to as many people as possible through any medium.

      We have a responsibility to ourselves to have the life we want. That doesn’t mean things always go according to plan, but it does mean, we don’t sink to blaming others for our circumstances.

      Thanks again Val – kind regards
      Brenda 🙂

  3. Ilka Flood says:

    Hi Brenda,

    I don’t think I qualify as an “Energy Vampire.” The only point I could relate to above was the occasional “Pity Party.” But, that didn’t last very long as I thought it a total waste of my time and the only thing it accomplished was that I got mad of myself.

    By the way, I love that picture 🙂

    Have a great week!


    • Brenda says:

      I think we have all had occasions to have a Pity Party, and I also have been guilty of this. However, this doesn’t make us Energy Vampires. We are human after all, and have a range of emotions we all go through in life. It’s only if we continuously use these emotions with all the interactions we have with people, and never resolve or move on.

      I thought it was a great picture too – reflecting his vision onto a mirror – something we all need to do on occasions.

      I appreciate your comments Ilka. Thank you for visiting my site, and also hope you have a fantastic week too.

  4. Hi Brenda,

    I hope the energy vampires find your post- they could use these tips! :). We have all known people that are magnates for drama. The two books I read constantly is The Four Agreements and A New Earth which talks a lot on being self-aware and recognizing when you’re being full of drama or around others that are.


    • Thanks Janette

      They are both great books. Interestingly enough I have had a private comment sent to me about their recognition about being an Energy Vampire after reading the post, which has been my aim of these articles.

      As you said, self awareness is the key to change, and if I have helped even one person recognize that they alone have the power to change themselves I am happy. 🙂

      More on this topic to come

  5. Zahn says:

    Hello, I especially love this topic Am I An Energy Vampire? Thinking about many people I know. Explains how sometimes i am exhausted after spending time with them. Thanks, Zahn

  6. Crystal says:

    There is clearly a great deal to understand about this topic. You created some great points and made me think about my friends and relatives also.

    Fantastic – keep it up

  7. Thank you Crystal and Zahn for your comments. Recognition is the first step

  8. Ester says:

    Thanks for this post. I thought it was awesome. Energy vampires are everywhere

  9. Antionette says:

    Congratulations, you are a talented writer and are amazing. Thanks for sharing your knowledge

  10. Arden says:

    I felt like I was reading about me…well I guess I was. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Time for a change for me

  11. Ro says:

    This was a very motivating post for me.Good job. Will keep alert for the energy vampires in my life from now on.

  12. Sandy says:

    This post was even better than the other post on Energy Vampires for me. Great timing and good information

  13. Fiona says:

    I found this difficult to read – too close to home…..ouch

  14. Peyton says:

    Hello this is amazing site! Great inspiration and full of new knowledge for me – can’t get enough of what you write

  15. Erika says:

    Terrific post,. Need to show some of my friends and hopefully they will recognize the energy vampire in themselves :0

  16. Bob says:

    Keep up the good work. Thanks from Bob

  17. Ari says:

    Bit confronting reading this…..maybe I am a vampire after all!…….an energy vampire that is. But by recognising it – I can change it!

  18. Milly says:

    This post is incredibly eye opening – thank you

  19. Vanessa says:

    There are a couple of people that will be shown this article….hopefully they will recognise their vampire qualities

  20. Kesha says:

    Wonderful – thank you thank you. Helped me so much

  21. Barry says:

    This reminded me of my wife’s family members – always feel so drained after seeing them. Now I know they are Energy Vampires

  22. Brigette says:

    Thank you for this article – helped so much

  23. Kingsley says:

    Loved this article – thank you

  24. Denver says:

    Love this article. Made me have a good look at some of the people I spend too much time with

  25. Nicole Peterson says:

    I don’t connect with anything else here except needing approval from time to time. I am not one to have pity parties. If anything, I tend to be a willing listener, almost to the point where afterwards, I feel like I gave too much of myself. I then need to focus on my breathing. Nature helps me recover, as does quiet time. Nevertheless, I hope I would never be an energy vampire to someone else.

    • Nicole Peterson says:

      I worry that because I need approval sometimes that this could mean I am an energy vampire.

      • Brenda says:

        Wanting approval sometimes does not make you an Energy Vampire Nicole.
        An energy vampire sucks the life out of people they are with and drain them of their vitality.
        There is nothing wrong with needing support from others occasionally, but when it becomes every time and the same ground is repeated over and over again, without any effort to make some changes yourself, this may be a problem.

        Thank you for visiting Mind Recipes and I will look forward to more comments – thank you

  26. Michael says:

    Hmmm.. I’m only 17, but everything in that list describes me exactly.. Does this mean I really have been draining energy from my friends and everyone close to me?

    • Brenda says:

      If you do everything on this list, it would be very draining to constantly hear this, and most importantly draining on yourself.

      Once you are aware that you exhibit these behaviors, it is easier to change. So well done – recognition is the first step.

      A follow up article about this topic will be coming within the next week.

      Thank you for posting.

  27. Nicolas says:

    How can I avoid being an energy vampire if the cause is a chronic illness that drains my energy? I don’t want to be negative at all. However, being without energy myself makes simple things difficult. This creates stress and I feel like I’m drowning sometimes. More often than not, I feel depressed, anxious and alone. I’m also less and less sure of myself and my actions on how to deal with myself, which does cause a great need for affirmation.

    So far, I’ve had some (work related) coaching, and I’m looking for a less demanding job to reduce stress.

    This situation is not sustainable and I believe I might do something stupid. I am open to advice, if you have any.


    • Brenda says:


      Whenever I feel overwhelmed with things that life throws at me – I step back and look at what can be do about the situation.

      I break down (by writing) things that can be done by myself and also the things which are out of my control.

      The things on my list that are out of my control – I put out of my mind. No amount of anguish or wishing or hoping can change those things – so worrying will not either.

      Then I look at what I can do – these may only be small things, but any step towards where I want to be is in reality a giant step.

      However before I take any steps, first I must know where I want to be. Take time to determine this … makes the difference.

      Please let me know how you are going.

  28. pizza says:

    Thank you a million for the inspiring content articles.

  29. Anna says:

    Gosh that was enlightening and close to home! Never actually thought I was like that until I read this article! Definitely time for a bit of mind adjustment methinks!

    • Brenda says:

      Thank you for sharing Anna and well done on undertaking some mind searching 🙂 a huge step.

      Please visit Mind recipes again soon – and feel free to comment or ask questions.

  30. Merl Dracus says:

    Most of these statements are only opinions based on statistics. The reason behind why i say this is well, I know what I am and I do not speak of my mind a lot of the time. I do not hang around a pity party as well as in all you just wrote you described a typical stressed teenager or a very depressed person. Most of your article is just not correct. You also left out where some people have groups with their own kind. Not to mention one can control their own abilities and use them to help people and give energy. Blessed be and please do some more research on this subject

    • Brenda says:

      Thank you for your comments Merl. There is a huge difference between Energy Vampires and “a typical stressed teenager or a very depressed person”.

      You asked me to research this subject and believe me I have thoroughly. I do not profess to know all the answers, but like all my posts here, this is my opinion, and the suggestions made have worked for many people.

      They may not work for everyone….but what does? An article is here to help people think, sometimes differently than they are presently – it is in no way meant to offend or upset anyone.

      Again, I thank you for your opinion.

  31. MerlDracus says:

    If you could would you post a article about how to turn Energy vamps good ? There are many ways that we can help people but this article just makes all of look bad and selfish. Meditation is a powerful way the a vamp can heal them self and others and control whos energy they drain.

    • Brenda says:


      The article was written so people can recognize that energy can be drained when you are constantly around people who are “Energy Vampires”. Many did not realize what was occurring and it is about being aware and what you can do about the situation if you do want to change it.

      It is not about turning people good or otherwise – it was not written to make people “look bad and selfish”. It’s about choices that we are all faced with every day and what we can do about situations we find ourselves in. We have the power to change how we react and act in any given circumstance. However, until we are honest with ourselves, this may not happen.

      I agree that meditation can help improve your life in every way. I strongly advocate this practice into our daily lives.

  32. Boku says:

    I have been using grounding & shielding techniques for many years now to deal with energy vampires. They have all worked marvelously except for two people in my life: my parents.

    What in the world can I do to prevent that inevitable drain I get when I am around them? I have been seeing them less & less but it seems they make up for the time between by being extra negative & domineering when I sit down with them!

    I was thinking about just being blunt & showing them this article but I don’t want to make them feel bad… or worse, make them even more draining by aggravating them.

    Has any one else dealt with this? Any feedback would be highly appreciated! Thanks for this article. It makes me feel more energized just by reading it!

  33. Rebel says:

    highly motivational

  34. Sasha says:

    Is it this simple?

  35. Deborah says:

    Your posts are truly good. Greatest wishes from deborah

  36. Paris says:

    I think I am

  37. Reff says:

    What a superb post. I agree with you

  38. Jordan says:

    good articles

  39. Jordan says:

    Good article

  40. Miola says:

    thanks for sharing

  41. Yani says:

    thank you

  42. chris says:

    thank you

  43. Jim says:

    nice articles

  44. Nina says:

    nice articles

  45. louise says:

    good articles

  46. isabel says:

    thanks for info

  47. Winter says:

    thank you for this informative post

  48. Ray says:

    hello I love this post

  49. Poppy says:

    good articles

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