You have made your decision. Something in your life is going to change. A new job, a change of address, becoming a non-smoker, incorporating exercise into your daily life, improved eating habits…….the list is endless. We all have something in our lives which we could change, but how do you keep going when it gets to be a struggle?
No matter what you want to change in your life – there is a common stream running through them all. It will be too easy to go back to doing what you have always done, and getting what you have always got without this. There is no magic formula, no magic pills, no guru that will make it easy for you…….it all comes down to you and the decisions you make for your life
Now, I know this can be a scary thought for many – I can hear the words now.
- I am not strong enough
- The cravings are too much for me
- It’s in my genes
- What if I can’t get another job?
- I am addicted to the nicotine
- It’s too hard to find the time to exercise
It’s pretty easy to come up with excuses – so How Do You Keep Going when all you want to do is go back?
Here are the simple steps to start this process. It is extremely important to write down your answers to these questions. Simply speaking the words will not bring sufficient emotion into your actions. I also like to date my writings. Now, it is time for absolute complete honesty with yourself – write YOUR TRUTH in answer to the following questions:
- How is your life being affected NOW by what you are doing? Be honest with yourself. Remember – no one else has to see your writing.
- On a separate page, write down how your life has been affected SO FAR. What has this prevented you from doing, what are you missing out on, how has this affected your health – physically and/or mentally?
- How long you have been practicing this habit, or how long you have wanted to make a change in your life? Was there a defining moment in time that triggered this desire to “smoke, drink, take drugs, start a new career, leave an old relationship, begin a new relationship? – whatever it is you want to change, there is always a point in time which triggered either your commencement or cessation.
- What has this prevented me from doing or having or being?
- Am I READY to let go and make these changes to my life?
- How has what I am doing (or not doing) affected my self image and/or self esteem?
While you are writing your answers, you may be surprised by your responses. Let your writings flow – don’t THINK about what you will write down – just start writing, and writing, and writing. Once you have completed the previous 6 steps, then comes the most important.
- After you have made your change HOW will your life be different? WHAT can you achieve, WHERE can you go, and WHEN will that be?
Your WHY must be strong enough to counteract the complacency, the cravings, the everyday distractions which will inevitably come your way.
YOUR WHY MUST BE COMPELLING TO YOU
For example: You may want to become a non-smoker. You have tried the patches, cutting down, giving up for your partner, any number of times. You know you “should give up” Everyone knows the health risks………but that craving creeps in when those familiar times come along…..and your “will power” just want hold out any longer. What do you do?
Decide on your WHY….If the health reasons are not sufficient – what about a reward? Maybe you have always dreamed of a trip to the Greek Islands…set up a special savings account and put away the exact amount you would spend on your cigarettes each week, and watch your dream of travel become a reality.
When those cravings strike, take out your writings, and read your WHYS – keep focused on what you are gaining rather than what you are giving up.
If you want circumstances in your life to change then you must change. Become aware of your actions (or inactions) and thoughts, and remain focused on
YOUR PERSONAL WHYS
Brenda, it’s such a powerful exercise to write down those answers, knowing no-one else will see them. Whenever I write that way, I always uncover a little piece of magic, another part to the puzzle. Deep insights that can change something very important.
I love your idea of a reward. I can think of a few things I want to change, that I never seem to completely shift. A reward might just be what I need!
Thank you,
Tricia.
I agree Tricia – every time I do this exercise I also have another piece of my inner thoughts revealed to me.
A reward definitely works – it doesn’t have to be lavish like a trip to the Greek Islands – it may just be some “me time”.
I make sure my “whys” give me enough leverage to keep going
I love the idea of writing out the answers to these questions too. Writing to yourself can really be magic and bring out thoughts you didn’t know you had.
Another thing that can come out of this is realizing that you’re not really that unhappy with things the way they are. You might be trying to establish a new habit because you’ve somehow gotten the message you should. Seeing that you don’t have a genuine internal motivator for making the change can lead to accepting yourself as you are and putting your attention on changes that really will matter to you.
I’ll be doing this exercise. Thanks!
Great insights Sue. Sometimes we “try” to make changes because it is something that is expected of us from others, and as you have said without an internal motivator, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to make the change long lasting.
This is why the writing exercise is so important to your success.
Brenda,
A great way to explore your thoughts is to write them down. Once you step into that process, the words can flow freely. Very powerful exercise!
It’s amazing what we sometimes hide from ourselves. Or how we self-defeat our very intentions. “Try” is a word that does not mean action, does it! That’s one to wipe out of our vocabulary. Do or don’t do…
Val 🙂
Using the word “try” is giving ourselves the option of an excuse. You are right – we either do or we don’t do.
This is one of the reasons why this writing exercise is so powerful – it unlocks many of our inner thoughts which we can hide from ourselves.
Awesome post Momma! I love the post. Yeah, i agree with you. I guess i need to stop some act though am not a smoker lol. And i will definately try this out by answering the above questions.Thanks for sharing. Have fun.
Thanks Samuel. Smoking was an example of how this could be used in the real world – however, you can use this exercise for anything at all. I sometimes use it to clarify questions I have which helps me make my decisions.
I certainly am having fun – wishing you fun too 🙂
Its so empowering that we have the power to control our habits and behaviour! And once we stop thinking helplessly the more control we will have. Great to have you as a friend, Brenda! Enomfon
Great to meet you too. Recognizing that we do have power over our habits and behavior is the first step to having the life we want.
Thank you for your comments
Great post. Thank you for the reminder. It is about personal responsibility and taking ownership for your actions and decisions. No one can do it for you. It has to come from you.
Thank you Kyle. Personal responsibility and ownership is one of the most empowering things we can do in our lives.
I appreciate you visiting my site and thank you for your comments
Pingback: Creativity Tweets of the Week – 10/29/10 | The Artist's Road
There are times in my life when I didn’t think I could keep going, but I always found the strength and courage to do so. This is a good article and a great reminder – thanks
I think we have all had times in our lives which have tested us Ally, and that is when we have to make a decision. Strength and courage resides in all of us – sometimes we just have to believe in our own capabilities.
Thank you for your comments
Hello!
First time to your blog and I can admit that’s a very good post! The difference between those who succeed and those who fail isn’t what they have, it’s what they choose to see and do with their resources and their experience of life!
All the best,
John
Thank you John.
I agree totally with your comments about people’s choices.
Welcome to our sit and I look forward to hearing from you again.
I thank you so much for this post. Great reading as usual.
We all need help sometimes to keep going…thanks for this post – just what I needed to read
This site is just great! I am really happy that I came across this when I did because I was searching for this type of work
You made this topic easy to understand. I find this topic tconfusing, but this seemed to help me make sense of it. I am looking forward for your next post,
There have been times when I didn’t know how I was going to keep going, but always found my inner strength to help me over the hump.
Good simple tips to help for next time
This is fantastic! Good for you – really enjoying what you write about
Positive article. Set up a discussion with my partner which I was unwilling to bring up myself. Thank you – it has made a difference
I found this post just at the right time. It seemed that you were speaking to me….it helped more than you will know
Thanks for all of your work on this web page. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts in the future.
Brilliant – Thank you for this article – so motivating keep it up 🙂
Several thanks for this article – helped me immensly
Thanks – my partner and I thought this was just fantastic
Yes, yes, yes. Love it
Ha – loving this
Great things, Lord Bless ya!
I have experienced this – not easy to keep going, but well worth it
You make your articles straightforward to follow 🙂
I am glad that what I set out to do works for you – no need to complicate the messages 🙂
Many thanks extremely useful. Will share website with my good friends