Life gets busy. We all seem to have more responsibilities, more things to do each day. For all our modern time-saving conveniences, one of the things we don’t seem to have is time for ourselves and our relationships. With such time constraints, it is no great surprise that our relationships are one of the first things to suffer. So what is the answer? How can we make our relationships a priority again?
You know the signs – the irritation with each other over small things, the snappiness in your voices, feeling like you just can’t be bothered to make an effort. Whenever there is a issue in a relationship, the first question to ask yourself is “What is the problem?”
I am sure you will be able to run off a “list of incidents” which have occurred over a period of time, the feelings these incidents bought to you, and what your partner did wrong in each situation, but this isn’t what the underlying problem is. You may think that if your partner “just took out the garbage without you asking” you wouldn’t have a problem. Is the garbage really the problem, or something else? This is the honesty you must have with yourself before you can tackle any relationship issue.
Understanding what your partner needs and wants in a relationship is so important. The way to discover this is by asking. Many couples give their partner what they themselves are craving. You may like to buy gifts to show your love. You go to the store and buy perfume and flowers “knowing” that your partner will feel loved when you give them these presents. What may happen is that they value different things, and may crave physical touch or time spent together over “things”.
How complicated is it when you “think” you are doing the right thing for your partner only to find out that they value something else? Or worse still, you never find out what they value, decide the relationship isn’t working and move on to the next partner with no lesson taken from it, just placing the blame of the failed relationship on the other person.
To put it simply, there are a few steps that everyone can utilize to fulfill their relationships.
- Become responsible for your relationship. The old adage that a relationship is 50/50 just doesn’t work. Each partner needs to put in 100% effort to have a fulfilling relationship for you both.
- Have an honest look at what you are bringing to the relationship. Are you focusing entirely on what they are doing wrong (in your eyes) and have your blinkers on when it comes to your own behavior and actions?
- Do you always have to be right? Being right does not always make IT RIGHT. It is far better to be content than to force, or try to force your partner to believe what you do or say is right all the time.
These are just a few points highlighting the steps to a fulfilling relationship. The most important thing is to be committed and make the decision that instead of focusing on what is wrong with the other person, focus on the ways you can enhance and grow your relationship.
“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” Anthony Robbins
Read more in the next article: More Steps to a Fulfilling Relationship