I was speaking to a friend recently who was going through a difficult time in her life. She felt that nothing that was happening in her life was in her control and she was feeling pretty down with herself and her situations. She was right to a degree.
The things that were happening in her life were out of her control, but her reaction to them certainly was in her control. Instead of taking that responsibility, she gave away her power to other people, other situations and found it easier to complain to as many people as would listen to her, throw her hands in the air, and continue to say “There’s nothing I can do about it”.
It was at this moment that, as a friend, I could no longer listen to this. We sat down and I spoke, instead of listening to the same story over and over. I asked “What can you do right now to improve this”. She looked blankly at me and started the same story again. I asked again, “What can you do right now to improve this”.
She had given her power away to groups promising her salvation if she joined them, and was quite willing to sit back and wait for these miracles to happen to her, instead of doing something for herself. She had become the victim of her own life, and wanted someone to save her. She just didn’t realize that person she was waiting for was already here – she was the person to save herself.
Finally after asking a third time, “What can you do right now to improve this” , the look in her eyes changed and she took a pen and paper and started writing down some of the small steps she could take right now to improve her situation. They weren’t huge steps, they were small things that may only take a short time. Some phone calls, an appointment, any sort of movement away from where she was, to where she wanted to go.
At that moment, I realized that my friend had started to take back control of her life, and that she knew that she was the hero in her own life story.
What can you do right now to improve a situation you are in?
Thanks for sharing such a unique article. More people need to understand how we can change our lives for the better.
Thank you Jim. I agree if we all took a little bit more responsibility for the things that happen in our lives, we would all be better off. It is not about blame…but responsibility.
Taking back control of my life is something I am currently working on. It’s a work in progress, but I really feel like I am getting there. Some days I move forward, then there’s a big step back, but looking back a few years ago, I realize how far I have come.