I received quite a few comments yesterday from people telling me that they have no control over the thoughts they have or the people they hang around with……….I don’t normally say this, but they are wrong, so wrong that I thought I had better highlight a few of my views on this subject.
We all have a choice, and I fought with myself about writing the first paragraph in this post. it is not up to me to tell people they are wrong in the way they think. However, after reading the following quote today, I changed my mind.
“If you put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise it” Anon
Now, what has this to do with having control over your thoughts and the people you hang around with? I believe everything. When you value yourself, and the contributions you can and do make to your world, you don’t sell yourself short by being with people who continually make you feel miserable. Unfortunately sometimes these people may be family or friends. If this is the case, and by being with these people, you feel devalued, maybe its time to limit the time you spend together. Or at the very least, understand that their thoughts and actions, are not THE TRUTH.
Do you see my dilemma? On one hand I am saying people are wrong in their beliefs that they have no power to control who they spend time with, and on the other I am saying that my thoughts and actions are not necessarily YOUR TRUTH.
Therefore, I will finish with this…….if something is not working in your life, isn’t it time you valued yourself enough to make changes? If you put up with behavior from others, and yes, even from yourself, that is not in your best interests, place a higher worth on your life and make the changes. YOU are the only person who can determine what the best is for you. I know there are many organizations and groups to guide you. Take their information, do what is right for you, and live with value.
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Kinley, recognition of something that needs to be changed is a significant step in making those changes. When you surround yourself with people who continually make negative comments or undertake negative actions, your mind soaks up these thoughts like a sponge.
The opposite can also occur. By being with people and in situations which uplift you, you can’t help but be inspired.
Continue to recognize both these situations, and make the right choices for yourself. You are worth it.
I am impressed with the post. Have you thought about putting some of this information on youtube? This would be good to watch rather than read all the time. What do you think?
Thank you Julie. We are in the process of developing a range of audio products, and also will be using youtube for some visual products. I’ll keep you posted when they will become available.
Wow, this post was so relevant to a conversation I had last night. The discussion was based on a negative lifestyle and what changes may be possible. The crux of the conversation was how the individual undermined her own life with negative self talk together with the realisation that she wouldn’t treat another human being so badly.
In the first instance, it was decided that this individual should stop sabotaging herself with negativity. Admittedly, an entrenched mindset requires vigilance to change negative thinking. However, it was agreed that awareness was a major first step in this journey to become her authentic self –a happy confident person.
Secondly, the emergence of this happy confident person will create a new environment in regard to the people that gravitate to and from her.
I shall make her aware of your post which will confirm we are on the right track. Thanks.
Kath, you really did hit the nail on the head. Awareness is indeed the first major step. You cannot change anything if you do not realize the situations you put yourself into. Simply by being aware of the conversations (with other people and with yourself) and the affects this has on your life, can help you move forward.
Your friend is fortunate she has people who care enough to have such a conversation with her. Awareness is so powerful.
It must be the time for these talks. A group of my friends sat me down over the weekend and said very similar things to me. When I read Kath’s post, it was like she was talking to me.
When my friends talked to me, I didn’t take it very well to start, but they really did try to help, and now a few days later, I realize that I did continually look on the negative side of everything. It was a habit I didn’t even know I had. I spent my time blaming everyone else.
While my life won’t change straight away, at least I can start to make changes. I love my friends
Tara, sounds like you have a lot of people who care about you. Thank you for your post, and congratulations on taking those first steps.
Such a well written post, and I loved reading the comments too. Thank you.
It’s about time someone wrote about this.
Thank you Jode
My pleasure Lauree. Thank you.
I like your website. This is a great site and I wanted to post a note to let you know, good job! Thanks.
Thanks for an interesting article. It was well worth reading, and started me thinking about the value I place on myself
Super site. I am loving it!
Will come back again – this post was one of my favorites. Thanks.
It is refreshing to read posts like this one. Thank you for your time and input – it really helps to read things like this
Woo hoo I will certainly put this to good use!